After the Epilogue
Falling in Love with Marriage in Crisis
By Sara Shahein
Edited by Shea Campion
When starting a romance novel, you never anticipate that the couple you’re rooting for is on the verge of or already divorced. How could you possibly root for two people who seem to be so at odds with one another? You wanted to read a book about two people falling in love, not out of it, so why is this book even considered romance?
Aren’t Romance Books About Falling in Love?
As readers, we often read to escape our world, gain a new perspective, or connect to our emotions. The romance genre is typically an ideal space for authors and readers to explore complex topics such as grief, imposter syndrome, loneliness, anxiety, and heartbreak. Readers don’t anticipate a book categorized as romance will start with the unraveling of the main characters’ happily ever after. Oftentimes, the books in the genre start with the main characters’ conflict, show the characters working through their hardships, and ultimately falling blissfully in love. By this formula’s standards, the marriage-in-crisis trope is a perfect fit for a romance book, with the conflict being the main characters’ relationship.
What is a Marriage in Crisis?
I still think about the differences between a second-chance romance and a marriage-in-crisis romance. The conclusion I’ve come to is: marriage in crisis is a subcategory of second-chance romance. Second-chance romances follow characters who were previously entangled in a tension-filled relationship and get a second chance to rekindle that flame or see if their initial spark is still alive. Readers will often get references to the characters’ past, a dual timeline colliding at the past/present conflict, and naturally, a happy ending.
Marriage in Crisis as a Space for Individual Healing
Being in any relationship doesn’t eliminate your need for individual healing. Not actively healing or expressing your needs to your partner introduces more complications to your relationship. Cara Bastone uses this concept in her book, No Matter What. Readers observe how Roz and Vin’s marriage slowly unravels post a traumatic event the two recently survived. We start the book believing there is no chance these two characters will ever survive this conflict, but as the story unfolds and they find their individual outlets for healing, we see them grow back together. Both Roz and Vin learn the value of open communication and rebuild that pillar of their relationship. Through their separate journeys, they unlock parts of themselves and open up about how this traumatic experience altered how they view their relationship. I fell in love with Bastone’s masterful depiction of the mundane moments that make up a relationship. The moments of cooking a meal for your partner, sitting on the couch in silence, even catching the others’ eye across the room, are all overflowing with the desire to recapture a love they once shared.
Many times, marriage-in-crisis books focus on a character looking to find themselves outside of their established romantic partnership. Hannah Bonam-Young captures this perfectly with high school sweethearts, Caleb and Sarah, in Out of the Woods. Bonam-Young starts with the idyllic concept of finding your life partner at sixteen years old and growing with them. This dream begins to morph when Sarah starts to forget her identity apart from being Caleb’s wife. This internal conflict manifests into an external one as the couple communicates less, doesn't engage in intimacy as regularly, and ultimately has a blowout argument. While neither Sarah or Caleb wants to end their relationship, they do recognize that healing needs to be done in order to repair their dynamic. The two embark on a couples therapy camping retreat to reconcile their differences and support each other through their individual journeys. This book depicted the importance of both individual and couples therapy in a way I hadn’t seen in books before. It was enlightening to see two characters truly in love with one another and listening to the others’ needs.
But They’re Already Divorced?
Katy Perry once said, “just because it’s over doesn’t mean it’s really over,” and this sentiment can be applied to romance books. Two people can still be completely in love with one another but decide to go their separate ways. Honestly, this addition just makes for more yearning and pining between characters. I view these next two books as marriage in crisis because the couple’s lives are so interwoven, there isn’t enough space and time between their divorce and rekindling to classify them as only a second chance.
One of the best written marriage-in-crisis books is Kennedy Ryan’s Before I Let Go. The book follows a recently divorced Yasmeen and Josiah as they co-parent, co-own a restaurant, and maintain extremely entangled lives after nearly two decades together. Their divorce comes after the couple battles bouts of depression and grief following a traumatic loss. Both Yas and Josiah continue to have love for one another as they orbit around each other constantly. Ryan showcases how this period of separation allows Yas and Josiah to seek therapy and heal from their wounds in order for them to find their way back to each other again. It also stressed the importance of having the right friendships in your corner through times of strife, as Yasmeen is part of a trio of friends that truly showed me the meaning of found family. Before I Let Go opened up the marriage-in-crisis world for me, since I never thought I would root for people who were already divorced; they tried the relationship, and it didn't work, so why try again? Seeing Yasmeen and Josiah’s characters interact showed me there was still more to be told about their love story, and I wanted to see them get that happily ever after.
We get another divorced marriage-in-crisis book with Tarah DeWitt’s Left of Forever. The story follows Ellis and Wren years after their divorce as they send off their son to college and take the scenic route back to their hometown. Similar to Yasmeen and Josiah in Before I Let Go, Ellis and Wren separated after a year of hardship and disconnection, leaving a strain on their friendship. Initially, I thought Left of Forever was a second-chance romance until I read Savor It, DeWitt’s first book in the Spunes Series, and heard Ellis Byrd refer to Wren as “still a Byrd.” That’s when I knew it didn’t matter if this couple was divorced or not, Ellis Byrd still loved Wren, and that’s all it took for this to be a marriage-in-crisis book for me . . . well, that and their close proximity to each other. DeWitt showcases how the two are able to rekindle their romantic relationship by reviving their friendship first. Left of Forever is a sweet, sexy, and sincere take on marriage in crisis.
Can a Marriage in Crisis Be Funny?
I love to kick my feet and giggle as much as the next romance reader, which is one of the reasons romance is so engaging to me. The banter-filled dialogue, the improbable incidents of embarrassment, and the tender moments of love we enjoy in romcoms can definitely be found in a marriage-in-crisis book.
Sarah Hogle masters the art of romcom meets marriage in crisis in You Deserve Each Other. We meet engaged couple Naomi and Nicholas just on the verge of annoyance and hatred; Naomi even declares having a less than 20% tolerance for Nicholas at the beginning of the book. Readers are left thinking, surely there is no way this couple will survive this, especially not when Naomi initiates a prank war against Nicholas in order to get him to call off their engagement. Amongst the pranks, silly arguments, and freshly chopped bangs, the two start to fall in love again. Their pranks turn tender, and the arguments lead to much needed conversations about their partnership. Hogle shows readers how love is brought to life through joy, and even when two characters forget they love each other, it just takes one moment to remind them.
A more recent take on marriage in crisis in romcoms is Heather McBreen’s Sunk in Love. This book follows Roslyn and Liam as they must play the happy couple on a family vacation despite being on the cusp of divorce. This isn’t all fun and games, as Roslyn is struggling with grief after her mother’s passing, and Liam tries to manage his rocky relationship with his family in England. The two grew apart after struggling to communicate what they were dealing with, but luckily, the rocking waves of this cruise ship got them back on track. McBreen showcases how combining the humor of faking happiness with the forced proximity of a cruise ship can lead to a couple communicating and rebuilding their bond.
Are You Ready to Say “I Do” to Marriage in Crisis?
While the marriage-in-crisis trope takes a slightly different approach to the traditional romance book conventions, it showed me the realities of being in love and having a long-term relationship. There’s beauty to be found in watching a couple who continue to love each other try to grow back together. These narratives have shaped how I approach reading and experiencing romance. They have taught me the value of communication, taking a moment to realign myself, and finding the joy in continuously falling in love with the same person. While the marriage-in-crisis trope may not be for everyone, there is something for every reader to take away from these stories, and I hope you say “I do” to one of these books.