Snowmen From Pop Culture Ranked by Hotness
By: Alexondra De La Rosa
When it comes to snowmen representation in popular culture, Frosty and Disney’s Olaf really tend to dominate the conversation. But what about our other unsung frozen heroes? Whether they be abominable or icy, let’s take a look at some of pop culture’s hottest snowmen.
#7: Olaf (Disney’s Frozen)
Was there any doubt that any other snowperson would be in last place? Not only is Olaf quite literally days old when we meet him in his movie, he also kind of looks like a baby snowman, what with his very short stature and small amount of twig hair. One could argue that he simply has a very childlike sense of whimsy, and the lack of twig hair is due to middle-aged balding, but it feels very icky to me to put him in any other place than last. Sorry, Olaf! Sorry, Frozen lovers!
#6: Jack Frost (Michael Keaton)
This one might be a tad bit controversial, but nothing scared me more in my grandparents’ house than the cover for this movie looming over me from the DVD cabinet. If you haven’t seen it before, Jack Frost is a movie about the musician and titular character dying in a car accident, and coming back as a snowman. I can think of nothing more frightening than the idea of one of my relatives sadly passing away and returning as a creepy looking snowman. He also looks nothing like Michael Keaton! If he did, he would probably be bumped up a lot higher.
#5: The Abominable Snowman (Monster’s Inc.)
Okay, is the Abominable Snowman, AKA Yeti, fromMonster’s Inc. technically a snowman? No. But his name is the abominable snowman, so I’m counting it. Snowmen don’t have to be men and they don’t have to be exclusively icy. With that out of the way, let’s take a look at our next contender. The Abominable Snowman is quite handsome by monster standards; he’s covered in hair (who doesn’t love a hairy guy?), he has a nice wide smile, and he’ll make you snowcones! What a dreamboat! It’s also not really his fault he got banished. The movies strongly suggest that he accidentally uncovered Waternoose’s corruption within the organization, so clearly the guy has a strong sense of justice. What’s hotter than that?
#4: Frosty the Snowman (Classic)
Frosty the Snowman, from his famous and very classic song, may look like your average snowperson upon first glance. However, it’s his deeper qualities that make him oh so irresistible. For example, Frosty spends almost the whole day entertaining the town’s children without being asked to, and without pay! In addition, he’s thrifty (he wears an “old silk hat,” not the newest styles), and he’s spontaneous (he encourages others to spend the day with him having fun, not once dwelling on his imminent demise). A man that’s good with kids, volunteers to help the town in his spare time, recycles garments and thrifts, and has an adventurous, spontaneous outlook on life? Where can I get one?
#3: Bumble (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
Before everyone boos me for putting Bumble so high on the list, hear me out. Just like our friend from Monster’s Inc., he’s technically also called the Abominable Snowman of the North, so he totally counts as a snowman. Bumble, from the 1964 Rankin and Bass classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, has beautiful blue skin and fluffy white hair, so he’s already pretty high up when we consider his hotness. He also doesn’t talk that much, which brings me to my next point of hotness: Bumble is a total himbo. He just has that himbo energy about him, which is incredibly hot. Also, big hands.
#2: Blue Snowman (DC Comics)
We only have one non-cis snowman on this list, but they are one of my favorites. Like our abominable friends, they aren't quite a snowman, but are instead someone in a snowman-looking mech suit. Blue Snowman is the villain name for Byrna Brilyant, a Wonder Woman villain and high-tech extortionist who debuted in 1946. They purposefully made their exo-suit appear very male to disguise themself and eradicate any suspicion. In the 2021 relaunch, Byrna actually came out as genderfluid, making them our only trans snowman. Yes, they are an extortionist that originally targeted farmers and that is not very hot, but who doesn’t love a villain? It is an unfortunate fact of life that (fictional) villains are very hot. Besides, Blue Snowman’s suit kind of looks like the Michelin Man, which is just so hot. Who doesn’t love the Michelin Man? I’m swooning!
#1: Snowmen (Doctor Who)
At my core, I am a monster lover, so there was no way I could put anyone at the number one spot other than the titular killer snowmen from the 2012 Doctor Who Christmas Special. Not only are there multiple of them (multiple boyfriends, anyone?), but they are stationary so you get to see them on your own time. No clingy snowmen boyfriends around here! Their wide toothy smiles and jack-o’-lantern-like eyes just do something for me! They are the ultimate hot snowmen, I’m sure other monster lovers will agree with me.
The world of snowpeople is a subjective one, but I hope you agree with my ultimate ranking of the hottest ones. I also hope this article brought you some much needed winter cheer. If you liked my silly yet incredibly serious take on hot snowpeople, feel free to follow me @rosadelexie on Instagram for more silly yet serious takes on books, politics, and more. Have a great winter!