To be Loved by a Copyright Page

Where this sentient object erotica, Don Quixote, and World Book and Copyright Day intersect.

By: Graciella Delgado

In honor of World Book and Copyright Day this month, it feels only fitting to discuss the only sentient object erotica I’ve read that breaks the fourth wall to engage directly (and intimately) with its reader. 

Coaxed by the Copyright Page by Leonard Delaney

Coaxed by the Copyright Page by Leonard Delaney is a 3,000-word short story centering a sentient copyright page that doesn’t waste any time. We open up on the actual copyright page of the book itself that immediately breaks the fourth wall to speak directly to us, the reader,, considering the reader an intimate participant in this story. There is a strong connection established between the copyright page and the reader in its recurring appreciation and casual conversation towards us. 

“As a copyright page, most people skip over me anyway, so I really appreciate you sticking with me for this long.” 

We are asked if we’re looking for Christie Aackerlund, the protagonist of the Digital Desires series we're currently reading from. Coaxed by the Copyright Page is actually book 4 in this series of erotic short stories featuring a young woman, Christie Aackerlund, as she overcomes random and bizarre conflicts while engaging in sexual acts with a variety of digital partners. Book one involves sentient Tetris blocks, book two involves Clippy (our favorite paperclip virtual assistant), book three is a haunted iWatch that is TOTALLY not Steve Jobs in an Apple Watch, book four is our copyright page, book five is for the actual Amazon reviews for that book, book six is about something called a “Fail Whale” and involves Twitter in some way (though this is the only Digital Desires book that cannot be found or read), and book seven functions as a terribly executed finale by centering a racist, far-right extremist AI robot that I do not recommend. It’s an odd series published from 2014 to 2016 with an undeniable Chuck Tingle vibe to its unserious approach to storytelling and erotic exploration.

This specific installment, though, is my favorite in the series. Shortly after we are introduced to the copyright page and asked if we’re here for the established protagonist of the series, the copyright page begins to reminisce about their own encounter with the busy woman. It’s a brief yet detailed encounter that I had initially assumed would be the entire story until the copyright page is overwhelmed with its feelings of lust for us.

Readers at home…that copyright page talks us through it. 

It (apparently) senses something in us and it’s a turn I really couldn’t tear my eyes away from. Of all the bold choices made in the unpredictable realm of bizarre Kindle Unlimited erotica, this choice is one of the boldest. 

“Oh wow, you’re getting a little bit excited, aren’t you? I can feel it on my back. Is it from my spicy story about Christie? Or my passion for protecting the rights of artists?”

The book even goes a step further by having the reader engage hands-on in book sex. The copyright page feverishly tells us to flip the page again…and again. We’re instructed to plug the charging cord into our digital reading devices and choke it with that cord until the page’s climax, and then a shift occurs that I’ll leave for you to experience on your own. 

I think it’s kind of brilliant, actually. 

Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes

The concept of a fourth wall break in literature is credited to the 1605 Spanish novel Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes, though the practice has been a staple in live theatre in the use of asides addressing the audience directly from ancient Greece and beyond. There is a long-standing, very human desire to pause a story in its tracks and engage with one’s audience to share personal opinions or get a better read on how that audience is enjoying things so far. In this particular situation, the copyright does both, but strictly within the realm of sexual desire.

And who wouldn’t want a lover so impassioned and committed about protecting authors’ rights and our own pleasure!? 

Miguel de Cervantes

Interestingly, Miguel de Cervantes’ death is one of the main reasons why we even have World Book and Copyright Day in the first place. His death occurring on the same date (kinda sorta) as William Shakespeare and Inca Garcilaso de la Vega is the reason World Book and Copyright Day takes place on April 23 every year. Currently, there seems to be mixed reports about whether Cervantes died on April 22, 1616 or April 23, 1616 but for a very long time, April 23rd was the official death date. I also say “kinda sorta” to him sharing a death date with Shakespeare because while Shakespeare and Cervantes died on the same date, the two men died about 10 days apart because Spain followed the Gregorian calendar while England used the Julian calendar at the time of these men’s deaths. It’s all very confusing. 

William Shakespeare

Then, years after Cervantes’ death, a holiday to pay respects to him started up in 1922 by Vicente Clavel, the director of Cervantes publishing house in Barcelona, Spain (a publishing house that was also named after Cervantes) called The Day of Books and Roses. This holiday would later be developed into World Book and Copyright Day by UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization), a day to honor the death of multiple highly influential writers and storytellers alongside the birth of many other important authors (like Vladimir Nobakov and…William Shakespeare…also) on April 23. 

And what better way to join in on international celebrations of reading than by reading copyright page smut? I think it’s what Miguel de Cervantes would have wanted, actually. All roads on this journey lead back to him. 

“Register my trademark! Abuse my brand! Feel that life squeezed out of you! Your pleasure is all mine now. You are my intellectual property.”